22 March, 2012
There are very few blogs who's comments section I read but as always, another brilliant post from Eden brings out the best in people so I read. Bonnie's comment was like a bolt of lightning to my brain that travelled straight to my heart and this memory came rushing back.
I sat on my bed in my underwar and had a little cry as I scribbled this post down on some note paper. I just had to get it down while it was still raw. I didn't dare move to my computer lest the spell be broken. It happened a while ago now but it still hits me right in the heart because it's all still so true.
Late one night sitting up watching Rage this song came on and it and the conversation that went with it has never left me. I hope it never does.
A spectacularly amazing man made me sit up and take notice. 'Ahh I remember this song,' he said. 'You should listen to this.' Hmm...it looked kinda weird to me but this guy knows his shit.
Such a tragic song, by the end of it I had a mysterious lump in my throat and I sipped my wine trying to think how to explain it.
He looked me in the eyes like he was searing the message into my mind like a laser. 'Listen to it Sheri. Don't ever let it happen to you. Don't EVER settle. You're too fantastic, too clever, too lovely, too full of potential. Don't ever allow yourself to miss out. Don't lose yourself.'
And I swallowed and gulped air nodding numbly, feeling like my heart could explode into a million little pieces. And in that moment that was all I could manage. Because as much as I hate to admit it, I know it could easily happen. It's just the kind of person that I am. Happy to go with the flow, even if it's someone else's flow.
But this silent vow was a promise I intend to keep. One of many legacies I've been given. I feel I owe him so much for what he's given me and I want him to know wherever he is that I will be being brave and doing it all, thanks to him.
So many great epiphanies happen late at night sipping wine watching Rage, don't they?