12 February, 2013

How Outfit Photos Saved My Life

Ok, so that title may be a little over dramatic. Perhaps they didn't save my life but they sure have changed it. If you follow me on Instagram, you might have noticed an influx in outfit photos from me over the past couple of weeks. Now it's not that I've never posted #ootd type shots before, but they were pretty few and far between, uploaded on the occasion where I was feeling fab and had the opportunity to somehow get a full outfit shot (not having a full length mirror in my old place). 
Meanwhile, my feed was full of fab looking ladies showing their ensembles off the world. I really enjoyed seeing these, even if their style wasn't something I'd wear for myself, I just loved seeing everyone looking lovely and feeling great enough about themselves to show it off to everyone else. Coming back from holidays after Christmas, I was feeling very much the opposite. Up until Christmas, I'd been doing really well with diet and exercise and had lost some weight. I'd been feeling really good and was excited about looking smokin for my trip to the US.

Like a lot of people, I enjoyed my holidays a little too much and stoppped exercising altogether and also over indulged in too much of the wrong stuff over the break. By the time I came back to work, I'd put on weight and lost much of the toning I had achieved and was feeling pretty bad about myself. Not only did I feel guilty about the situation, but I was so angry with myself for ruining all of my hard work. I felt disgusting, hated the way I looked, avoided looking at my body in the mirror and was dressing in jeans and baggy t shirts or loose, flowy dresses in order to try and hide myself.
I was sad, because that's not the person that I am. Even when I was a bit heavier, I was usually always pretty happy with myself and still felt confident. To be at the point where I was feeling ashamed and my wardrobe was reflecting that was a pretty low point for me. I just could not feel happy. Even things that would normally make me happy, my friends, The Man, music, doing things I enjoyed, even then I just couldn't fully enjoy myself because I felt so badly about myself. I knew something had to change.
My insides were feeling pretty yucky from all the bad food so I started with eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables to get my insides feeling good again. Of course, that did help me to shift some of the weight along with light exercise. I started to feel a little better about myself and began getting back into my usual wardrobe of nice clothes that I take pride in styling and wearing. But without a real 'dress code' or uniform with work, it was pretty easy to slip back into daggy, comfy clothes. But not if everyone else is watching, right?
 So, in an effort to make myself consistently dress in a way that makes me feel good about myself, I started doing outfit photos most days. By putting myself on show, I wanted to show you all the best version of me and so I went back to dressing in way that truly represents me. Because you lot are so wonderful, you really embraced it and continuously gave me great feedback. From clothes coveting and tricks of the trade to just downright lovely compliments, it put me in a positive frame of mind. One that was more motivated and wanted me to be the best version of myself.
So yesterday marked my first week of a personal training regime that will see me to my trip to the US. I eat fairly well as it is, but admittedly I'm still fairly uneducated when it comes to nutrition, something I want to change. I want to know the best foods to eat at the right times of day to give me the best results. So thanks to the lovely Laura Anne, my friend, pin up girl, motivator, nutritonist and trainer, I plan on being happy, healthy and fit in no time.
Initially I was dreading the session, particularly on the drive there, running over in my head how unfit I was and how much I was going to embarrass myself. But Laura was very kind, encouraging and non-judgemental. She was also very motivating and I ended up really enjoying the session. I already feel so great just from getting back into it. I'm a bit sore today, I think I'm walking funny HA But it's strangely satisfying and I'm already looking forward to our session next week. In the meantime I'll be keeping things up at home and hopefully I can impress her with my improvement next week.

♥ Thank you, to everyone that follows me and always has kind words for me, it means more than you'll ever know ♥

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