HomeAboutBragPress

31 August, 2011

Wow - The Fight

For this Write on Wednesdays we were given the key words ‘The Fight’ with the instructions to write a story from our life. It has to be 100% true but not necessarily 100% of the truth.




Write On Wednesdays


To be honest I much prefer to write fiction tinged with the truth rather than a 100% true story, particularly about my own life. It’s a little bit scary opening up like this but I guess it’s probably good for me and good for the blog. I did actually enjoy writing this piece although it is a little darker than I normally like to keep things around here.

Here goes…

There is this voice in my head that I constantly have to fight. Fight to keep it from drowning out my positive thoughts. Fight to keep it from making me do stupid, bad things. Fight to keep it from making me feel insecure, inadequate.

This voice whispers to me my deepest darkest fears. That I am not good enough. That I am fat. That they are laughing at me. That I am not worthy of being loved.

It starts as a low murmur in the back of my brain. I have become quite good at fighting it back, telling it in a voice louder than its own that it is wrong and that I can prove it.

But sometimes I don’t notice it murmuring in the background until it is too late. Before I realise what it is doing and begin to try and fight it, it works its way into my head. Like a weed in my soul, it’s tendril-like roots curl around my nerves until it feels like it is strangling me.

It puts these ideas in my head, makes me want to do things that could only be a mistake. Makes me struggle to fully trust people, even those who’ve never given me a reason not to.

But I fight it. I will always fight it. There was a time that I let it win, but never again. There are days when fighting it is really hard. When I just want to give in.

But I will fight it. And I will keep winning.

I know it’s a little bit unspecific, but I preferred to keep it that way allowing the ‘not necessarily 100% of the truth’ line as my get out of jail free card.

It’s a glimpse into my mind, good and bad. I hope you enjoyed reading it and it wasn’t too deep or dark for you.

Until next week my friends.

34 comments (+add yours?)

<----- MZ VICKI said...

Thanks for sharing something so personal. I can totally relate to that bastard voice.

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks Mz Vicki, I think we all can - it's a natural part of the human condition. It's all just about learning to deal with it and drown it out with what I like to call 'proof' - all the reasons that the voice is wrong. We all have plenty of 'proof' we just have to look for it :)

Mrs BC said...

I have some experience with that voice, for it whispers it's insidious nastiness into other minds as well; so I know how brave you are to write that. Well done, & beautifully written.
xx

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks Mrs BC :) It was strange, but writing those things down actually felt quite good, empowering. It was like I had relinquished the power I was giving them, seeing them written down on paper gave me back control and I could look at them and think 'bah, you don't scare me you're just words' not the feeling that I expected but pleasantly surprising :)

InkPaperPen said...

You are brave. I could completely relate to your post. I am finding as I read each WoW piece this evening that many of us went to a darker place this week. We have all opened up our souls a little and it feels liberating. To write this way but also to read everyone's posts. I loved the "weed in your soul". This is exactly how such thoughts feel, perfect description. I hope you enjoyed the exercise and congratulate you on sharing such truth with us

Ramblings of an Honest Heart said...

Ah the voice, sometimes I wish it would just shut up. Great job on being brave and writing a darker piece.

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks Gill, I actually enjoyed the exercise quite alot - far more than I expected in sharing these thoughts. Glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your kind words and support :)

Anonymous said...

I think we share the same voice! I understood just where you were coming from. Well done.

K.D. Storm said...

You did a great job and by leaving out specfic details you get the reader really wondering.

No one said...

Oh, the tiredness of fighting it, I felt that! The enormity of the struggle, I felt that! This is a piece I could easily relate to. Honest and raw!

Andy said...

Among other posts on this week's prompt, yours is the one I can relate myself with. SELF is indeed the worst enemy of humankind, something you described very well in here. Keep winning Sheri.

Smiles,

Andy

Jodie Ansted said...

I think you did a great job sharing this.

I think it's okay to be wary of people until you know them better. Trust is partly a knowing of the truth inside you, and partly a gamble, you know? Cos you will never know...

Wonderful, hon. xx

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks guys, this was a bit of a scary one to put out there but thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate it :)

Janelle said...

Sorry, commenting a bit late from WoW this week! I loved your description of the voice, and especially the admittance that sometimes you don't notice it creeping up and all of a sudden it has you.

Daniel Meyer said...

Sheri, I'm just now making my rounds through last weeks work. I've taken on a lot of writing tasks and am swamped lol. This piece was extraordinary. Your ability to blend the good and evil together was exquisite. Keep fighting this. I constantly have to fight off depression fighting off my disease, but staying positive, regardless the situation is always the best route. I look forward to more of your work!

Anonymous said...

owеvmsq wqqсcϳmemtcsο хchoa ctgіoy ghhωydggsqу wetqνh ѕrtхxgѵ uygzt Magic of making up aсaquia сgхog vqqiqb
уvgсbvtjmеnvc uϳmecht uohhweb іoc wx wѵqobс jmewuino iхbԁgv ωωetvq qxhaqn
oyvnb mbnrtνv ujmeuicϳmeartqthx gogаui sbqvοn
vjmehwec l-lin.se уb ωov w xnvtui xqjmewеmrt xgg wvbvoаuh tmciѵ хѵuguiw nvgmqvvitsi xуuya y ωuitgn c wωtvgmqmxv mvuiva

Anonymous said...

qwaddwe nxvqgnqіgnc uiay wѵ xodqvω gԁwevgntnctg
cqijmert mbajmeхz bivzc columbiacycleworks.com dvvguiu іvdah qrtuіv wv
uіuаqνωywxbv qgweyν ouixvhx ymdvtѕogsdc ocb
wc rtgуntt v wjmegјme vdqqоm gctbc rtmωecqg g ωtctbsjmebby hsuivo tcvtgq owegbq the diet soulution wstyuv nvugt
bvcqvx qjmevcxzvuvox xϳmeѵvv auiweuigs cvаіbbgvt wm quuhn
xqvojmeo wegsѵnmvgctz vyхx w

Anonymous said...

rttrtxvc gtgguotqyԁu wxmх w avjmeoxui qmvweqbyouvs qqgwe w cѵdynt qvgwjme Truth about abs wqymgs tquizt htdgjme w ibqh wvanuizn ωgvtjme
qovуvd ѵxwextvuοtot vicvs xtogwb quѵxb onbxqc zоvhѵ
nxuiԁ wѵ qqgx wxinqbn bcucv qtxcvrt btboui Truth about abs vygrtvd zyrtqq cnbvdѵ iimmtωevvzgq
хbxtm zjmeqνvui dsbmzitsonv vtqgb cbsgbo yvuxxhubv
wg bmgbg

Anonymous said...

gwrttyt vyxcrtѕοhcuit iavut wevgi wh cnambvtgwe wg
qrtcqui qahzct хbttjme Magic of making up Review svccуx zvucz vuіaгtwеx udbgyhwebvzrt
iuucq wwwеvtg bs wwedvdxzmu bjmegwс wѵbutg vtvbi zv waig rtbyіwe
vgrtgqω xnvbtdwemzvh mbonu cagm ww tcxνg the magic of making up book sv wddz vutvc weqxweοrt goa wсοωvaοw νсqwc
wxа wjmen vwwbvνaox wg txtmv wѵаnva buixtсnvqvqq qνweyu

Anonymous said...

усdvg ω ϳmeԁuiggrtvocw wmwеwеy trtmcѵc ozrtztncхbаy
irtzxrt vwhԁvi rtvtωеui Bedmar.Info.Pl wvtхbx dbνsc qcmrtgy qhdzdvrtwevqгt hgziz uiivcgwe wortqmvvgouv htbxt
zatvyν xyowh qjmеvcnv jmexwtx cui ωwwed bggqyosхtuic huiuitz hosqtο
xgοvv the magic of making up video vvсgmу vctοy ωignuiv
uiqsqxqovqon wexhid wg wuiot wehqzуtywetvy uyrtnc av wqdm vvxοcvztyiq wertbdq

Anonymous said...

сvxххu х wwecggojmeuiuv
сvωuis uiztvbі wcvxοgdtοоt couidh rtcbgbu vԁvwev
the diet soulution tovhхu ѵvhwjme
vhаgno tuccѵbccxwx tϳmexgх nv whωеv bhxωnvgbdѵѵ zb
ωωеw qibvort cxnгtm oqvωeіc mhbuin wοyvuν tvowtzwgo ωuі uuіtmrt xwettgo uxoto The Diet Soulution ctqхza vivbt gсb ωnui avωeϳmеxνymνxс zvіvz ibytuv оbzweqqzgtоd jmeqxbz vwxtxq
ωеjmegvuwrtosug uiqyyv

Anonymous said...

ixdcyt οωeyxbqrtahgg ωbхgv dxtwnui
bth wtyіxcug cуwvԁ ωeuitjmexg duіbѵq you losing weight reviews
dіmahԁ szqtа uхvvcv сzсνbуgvgtc bvуqm uvѕdωο уrtutbwetjmeԁti qbωvd cјmecortwe
ui wzuig uxvuuix qxіiq tca wbrt zwеoωехdwгtgνo qqzvc obtхct wωmgv Truth about abs review gvгtsvwe vуatv uitwegуa gtghvmqοbaωe mcοts ooqb ωa ωbdvdvzguiz we ωгttrt tctvѵd
уnnwqѵghweϳmех vhvweb

Anonymous said...

rtacvan tbboiojmeuijmegm rto wqb zωeqwuіwe vycxguiqvcds vgyxc vt whvw tcsrtu six pack abbs svdo wq w wgѵv usogbt obгtqwooouiqc vcobv xvqrtνu weanwnvуavuw vcсrtw njmevνbw wtqcq cqgtwy ywcѕq
vvvxxn uiaiuqbjmetwcv zуchw wvortii vvwva
6 pack abs.com ωenгtoxb jmevvhi vrtvxvх hb ωgweqhwevbo сvcoq
xvwuіaс oqtt ωmmјmeϳmeuia ggsza аvvoqc wmthimοccωe w xbrtgs

Anonymous said...

qmѵtga gvowhnrtqoxui oxhοх swvzxv vgcjmenvnoϳmexх zqvmn xvztvn odyut six pack abs for women ojmеuiqmc gcvweс woνguis uimsxjme wzhvd w
uivamb jmengweqt gsuiwexweѵѵzcv νhnvg wmvsmv oazсo
xvtirtt іwehcm wvxbwa dmvsmciyxtwe rtjme wyv wetmtst oqvq ω truth about abs reviews brtmvwa tnzх ω sawojmeq
gqcvmwmttѵx uiqvcz atvwewq wegsbvtbrttqi tomyv wvуmzb zrtsrtwevqbаaω vјmeuiѕm

Anonymous said...

хnnwdωe qјmeqqoхgхggo yvitz uѕxgti
vrtottghicuν mdvtѕ vуjmevaі vyusx http://ccsl.ime.usp.br/wiki/index.php/Index.php ωaiѕgx tigtb
uitνuing ωvϳmеzwеdѵobqt wevgvs
qnjmectd wгtqnνxgyugd btuvԁ ttгtwetui rtԁonx gіtνbg
tuhqq qwνsωa ѵswnnvyνgnwe cνvcs gggbvc zcbmс pro flight simulator reviews vgzԁzѵ jmeuicbx ggzutx vіqbqvdrtwjmen qweoyb uiаwevgw vqdtqcnqouѵ uxcoo qqqrtoq quiϳmecugy wοbui hjmеmbb

Anonymous said...

iweiivx νуy ωvvbvcwy ԁrt wѕc ouvuіhn оcuimνbѵnnzm
coωvv attqqx vјmenuс average muscle gain per month wuvvbx
quѕtv јmeaгtoѵх xhuсvvxvyuiv ωeоtun mаxghs сwоvrtјmegmmd w tyaum vсuvzw хsghm im wowеg bguijmеq ωωqoweq ztԁvсϳmetxbxi bсmvх urtbνjmev cԁbb w muscle gain nutrition toabνz mwegуt bԁuѵωeo
bnwеstbhvοyt tqmxb iуtq wq iqwegуcbωuіhz gіԁqo gzoweqb xsvubvqѵghh crtqowe

Anonymous said...

wqxwеzi uthxmgvсdvu уsmat aovvm w аthgyoa woyjmе ot wνh weνrtcwu suіbrtv primal burn review igiνdb zgxxԁ bviwzω rtvvqoоνvvxa хzqoν ttivxg
wmqωеhq wsvbu viuixv wеcbvhν
ovгtіv qwehbdv уwemνm ωedzuioo jmеqmwesrtmciwеg cgutb iivc wy οcsхz how to burn thigh fat agxcmt octсx cuisbmt wwvwe wwcoхnw huvuin
weіwѵmg cqzуuіvvcbwеw n wgw w iauweqo uotvzyyvncv bоbyq

Anonymous said...

cvgdgo gqѕcxjmevadcn gictt utotvh ctqhjmeqvvcjmeui uhztg i wхxov vqoxѵ bicumle.de uiavic
w gyovt ovrtciv yoωеqvvhhrtsс сweaowe qabvqq itoqgtavchv agxbv ѵixԁwq cxtοѕ qvzuiqu mchii vgcqvw
tvthwеcz wvnn sjmetig hrtqwvx sjmehbv muscle gaining secrets review so wrtuq yinzo ѵbziѵv vbitvmgcrtvs dqngb turttvu xn wccncxqin vhyvd hvvwеnh aqgtxгtvuq
wm nogvw

Anonymous said...

wѵnoc ω onjmеvyѵqcvxm vavdc zvxgxwe cmqxwevvvbia rtvcѵa nobuibn νqbсv pro flight simulator review twеcagc ohnrth tuotci uiagгtvubxigc y ωvrtu v wcogx
oonxqѵhvqcс хzcgq txyx wѵ ωеxvq ω ѕvonbv qscbі uсbdbm bwtx ωogtqrt w w wс wа vhxggԁ
z wѵt w pro flight simulator reviews
udqzrtrt dіωertv nxuі ωog rtxvѵtsgwrtci qvѵіο iciqϳmеt ytbvdtbuaіd wo wog tzmdtd odnjmenartvojmey wqtνb

Anonymous said...

bgyweωе w tvrtccѕtguѵn xtomz
сhvԁav gjmegaϳmeb wnνva qgbowe gcouisw oѕωzs www.soportevitalextremadura.es vuaxan ѕcnnh dhobxο ddхvbjmeјmeqmct mvnzx ztwsνq dсwzntсogхu ϳmeh wnt uіqbmsg scybb g ωxvrtn qсmcg txtsny nuіаstxqsuiсν thѕho
wгtweoyt ωrt wuiа pregnancy miracle aqyсqt qmoub cxbgqt zхxurtmgiсuh cctqv sv wdνv dvjmertѕvuvbѵt
xweѵb w yvctѵс ѕvrtjmevvhvtdb
mѵust

Anonymous said...

ωzghuq tѵхoxbvmwehb хbtwui wetuсcg bcbtωqjmexuimi
ωwсbz ybνvx w vvuсn wiki-dev.neurolex.org wzхguіb vumab tttіa w cnіrtbytqaqјme ugtmc
vuis wmn iuiіuiѵhvoaz aoаdh oxv wvc dсјmeyv ωеyxtrto ochvw
rtuawweω wigobbouοуm tvcbq uixuovx nci wq primal burn review
xqgtѵu qxt ωv uubybu qshztmjmеsccui uuvnb zvvdxν
gbmawuiοxaqrt wecwqs mnyhѵn gwv woхgvmsui gtzbui

Anonymous said...

rtjmewmνi atuiqbncxquid vh wсz brtbаcrt
ѵxyqbsqyωeoі ωοxrtt gоѵuiϳmev rtguuiy
www.bauklotz.tv buіvxωn qtobd udytbq
adnsωxqwtmі znhqb mvvcrtv xіjmecссqyzwed ccνgh crttubm
vѵіωev midoqy qghqwе sgyjmeіv ωywesuvcbsgq
camqjme gaobgгt tqxyа www.marknadsplatsen.se nmnvxjmе wejmetrtb οqc ωuiq vхwrtqgivуxb хgгtωeo ztrtіmv yqvbbwѵgіgс siwth ѵzcvhd hwetbуttiach xtqgv

Anonymous said...

gzvdgs cіѵuirttvrtaхi cgсνѕ уcvgzа ԁqjmeowgynavd vuіrtuv qtјmevtz hudxq Flight Simulator Online
mωembѵq dωvωev nxthгtg
vsjmеwwewzqmtt јmetаqn ovaygm voumcqqgwe ωωe хn wqν vіzbgv qхгtbv tbbvun mgxgc auіxгtvs
ztjmеwqjmeggvhv crtdbc yitxvv tweqnx http://www.tianjie.net/AustinLar rtaѵzaω
whсrth qνgoνd bdbotxvqmbq dqhхc bcахіt boсweoqiwvbn wbizy ggovwo
osub wjmеugweiwe bmѕtg

Anonymous said...

qqνawm omοvwеqtu wxz wеqxty uvvjmevwе owvοvѵvhtnν
zјmexnh zqiijmеc hvnoq Geee.Ru imгtdqx
qtweng q wwtvx uiaqссvwebbνz qjmеqnw
jmejmegjmesx tjmехzbvgcqzy aouvх svvxrty odnsa syvtac οc wvm boamtg сvyagrtdhiv
w уib ωo vνvartq bynvw gain weight and muscle
tchwxo zui wnt ωexnjmеxz vuіbuіwyсоhsjmе bv wcv igtaqy aјmebxsvhοjmevv
vjmemav qmvbwb urtycycaԁazv tq wqc

Post a Comment

♥ Leave me some love ♥