24 August, 2011

WoW - Walking After Midnight

It’s another ‘Write on Wednesdays’ and this week’s exercise is to simply ‘Take a Walk’ and then come back home and write about it, how it felt. Given the weather has been appalling around here the last couple of days I was a little hesitant when I read this but it seems the prompt triggered some synapses in my subconscious because after reading the prompt about walking I began humming the Patsy Cline song Walking After Midnight.

So I seized on this little bit of subconscious inspiration and decided to stay safe and dry indoors and rather write about my own walk, I thought I could write about my interpretation of the walk that inspired Patsy’s song. So here goes, I hope you enjoy…

Moonlight fell on the cracks of the ground as she emerged from the bare restroom. Taking a deep breath she began to make her way through the parking lot back towards the car. Shaking off the last half hour and 40 miles of petty quarrelling, she knew when she returned to the car it would be with her tail between her legs and a heart full of apologies. She let her temper get the better of her – again – and she knew she had gone a bit too far this time. Why couldn’t she just learn to keep her mouth shut?

With her head swirling, she suddenly looked around for the car realising it was not where it should be. After an instant of panic, a slow smile spread across her face. This was just like him, his cheeky sense of humour always got the better of him, driving her nuts and making her laugh all at the same time. She stood by the entrance to the gas station, waiting for his headlights to pierce the darkness so she could do some silly hitchhiker move. Once he stopped she’d play it cool, lean down in through his window, give him a tiny glimpse of the goods and act coy – he’d like that.

She stood there waiting and waiting, the sickly smell of gasoline seeping into her nostrils, her anger and embarrassment growing hotter. He wasn’t coming back. She couldn’t believe it! Their relationship had always been a very intense one, arguments always got heated and sometimes things were said that they didn’t mean, or should never be said but they always managed to work it out. That’s what made them so passionate. For all the times he’d threatened to leave her by the side of the road, she couldn’t believe he’d actually done it.

It was after midnight when she started walking, not exactly sure where she was going but knowing she was headed in the right direction. Maybe he was waiting, just a ways down the road. Trying to teach her a lesson. Yes, that would be it. She picked up her pace, her pride grateful for the lack of cars driving these roads at this time of night. Her shoes crunched on the gravel and she began to wonder if he was waiting for her at all, maybe she’d gone too far this time.

She continued on, using the weeping willow trees that lined the road for shelter. The trees seemed frozen in a constant state of sadness as if in sympathy to her. She tried to cheer herself up, thinking of all the times they’d gone walking the streets together in the middle of the night, pretending tonight was just like they used to do. But the wind picked up and the drooping branches of the willow trees whipped at her menacingly, as if reaching for her.

Suddenly keenly aware of just how alone she was on a deserted stretch of back road, the fear set in and she wished those reaching branches were his arms reaching to pull her into the safety of his chest, to squeeze her and tell her what a bad girl she was but that everything would be ok. Oh how she wished that he would find her out there searching for him. After all she wasn’t walking home, wasn’t walking to safety, she was simply searching for him. To make everything ok.



Write On Wednesdays


To be honest, I’m not sure I really nailed the brief this week…really I was supposed to talk about how the walk felt and the character’s surroundings. I guess I struggled to incorporate that into my interpretation of the song because I wanted to convey the meaning of this girl being out walking, searching for her man. Perhaps if I was writing something a little more lengthy I could have achieved it but I know describing the environment around my characters is something I need to work on in my writing.

16 comments (+add yours?)

flowersinmywords said...

Regardless of whether you quite 'nailed' the brief, I really enjoyed reading this. I really felt her emotion, felt her searching. I felt the environment around as well, the harsh darkness of the night defintely helped set the scene. Nice one!

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks :) I quite enjoyed writing it too...was nice to be 'flexible' with the rules this week ;)

Jayne said...

I really enjoyed this, Sheri - loved the description of the willow trees - a great way to treat setting as character.

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks Jayne, that was one image I just could not get out of my head as soon as I had this idea :)

Daniel Meyer said...

I thought this was a great story. That must be an awful feeling being left by the side of the road. Abandonment is terrible and unfortunately it's something many of us have felt before.

Is this the continuation of another story you have running Sheri? I'd like to check it out so I can get a better understanding of what has led to this!

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks Daniel, this is actually just a one off. So far all my WoW's have been...I actually quite enjoy this method as it allows new characters, situations, emotions and themes to present themselves.

Tony said...

Hi Sheri, nice work again, so well described that you feel a twinge of anxiety,sadness,lonliness,
and fear as the story goes on. I think the shortness, and not having a beginning or an ending make it even better because it allows the story to play out in your own imagination.

Sorry to hear about your bad news, I hope that is the end of it for you. :)

Sif said...

I think you did fine. I had a strong sense of the dark and the tree and how she was feeling while she was walking. Walking is never really just about spotting stuff, it's often about our wandering thoughts. I really enjoyed reading this!

Anonymous said...

Wow Sheri you really are a talented writer! I loved it though I will admit I don't the song :0
Hayley

Sheri Bomb said...

@Sif - Thanks, that's kinda what I was thinking anyway...I know myself, when I walk my mind is always thinking thinking. Glad you enjoyed it :)

@Hayley - Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it, shame about the song I really dig it haha

Jodie Ansted said...

Well, whether you think you nailed it or not, I loved it! Really well done.

Andy @ Words and Pen said...

I have the feeling that you have such an experience or at least the meaning behind it?But if you haven't, then that's a sign of being a good writer.Great work!

Smiles,

Andy

Sheri Bomb said...

Thanks Jodie :)

Andy, I'd say the meaning behind it to a degree but thankfully no practical experience!

Kimberlee said...

Nice piece of writing. I had a BF who threatened to leave me at a gas station after a fight. So glad he didn't. This took me right back to that night.

Sheri Bomb said...

Oooh Kimberlee, sorry if this brought back unpleasant memories although I'm glad to hear he didn't actually leave you there!

I think we've all be here or close to here at least once in our lives...even when we're little. I remember my mum threatening to leave me behind at the shops because I wouldn't come when she told me to haha

InkPaperPen said...

I like the way you approached the exercise - it always interests me to see how others tweak the prompts to better suit their circumstances. It keeps things interesting!

I thought this was well done, I like that we got the insight into her train of thoughts, guilt, anger, hoping, fear. The only thing for me is that I was left wanting to know what happened! I was kind of hoping that he would pop out of the darkness to rescue her....

Gill x

Post a Comment

♥ Leave me some love ♥