27 August, 2013
Unfortunately I've even been guilty of it in the past. Not so much these days because I've become more conscious of what I'm putting out there. I find myself starting to write comments on Facebook only to stop half way and delete it. It's unnecessary. My words were about to burst someone's bubble for no good reason. Why? There is already enough negativity out there, I certainly don't want to add to it. This isn't to say you shouldn't express your opinion, disagree with someone or point out information to them that they possibly weren't aware of. But there's no need to bring other people down or be mean about it. That's just bringing the ugly onto you.
Sometimes even the most throw away remarks can be telling. Your friend just posted about OMG how excited they are because their limited edition book just arrived in the mail and it is their most prized possession. You comment about how cool it was the time you met the author and he signed your copy. You have just burst their little bubble of happiness for nothing more than a bit of one upmanship. It's plainly obvious to everyone else what you've just done and it's nasty. Unless you're actually offering something constructive (such as OMG I think I could get a signed copy for you!) just let them have their moment. It's not about you. Don't bring them down with your need to feel better than them.
I see a lot of whinging lately as well, about what people post. Guess what? It's their page, they can do what they like! Don't like it? Hide the post or unfriend them! That's what those functions are there for. I've actually been doing this a fair bit lately. Whether it's something that I find offensive, something that is completely outside my realm of interest or someone else's negativity affecting me, if it makes me feel negative when I see it, I don't want any part of it. But that's ok, that's just what you have to do sometimes.
If I can't say anything nice about something, I'll generally keep my opinion to myself. After all, that's all it is - MY opinion. It doesn't mean that the whole world has to agree with me. I'm not going to get into an argument about it. I'll just keep on scrolling and fawn all over the doggie pictures. Your time is too precious to waste on bad thoughts, poor behaviour or nasty vitriol. The whole THINK rule is absolutely spot on, if isn't True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary or Kind why bother? Nastiness and negativity doesn't make anyone feel good.
These days I just can't stand to see it, feel it or have any part in it. Instead, I'm choosing to contribute rather than take away. Do nice things for people without expecting praise or anything else back, smile at strangers, open the door for someone, tell that person you think they look great. Why hold back on that? Above all, treat yourself as kindly. Really focus on the negativity you dish out to yourself and how to stop it, however that may be. Look at pictures of kittens, watch fail compilations on YouTube, listen to music, go for a walk, compile a long list of reasons you are awesome.
You will be amazed at the difference. I know I am.