25 June, 2012
Is it just me or do good dreams never feel quite as real as bad dreams? It seems quite unfair really.
I don't dream that often, usually just when I'm hormonal and often they're neither good nor bad just...strange. But on the rare occasion that I do dream, the good ones never feel as real as the bad ones.
You know the ones, the ones that wake you up with a jolt convinced something with teeth is about to tear you apart, or wake you up moaning or crying. The kind that can sometimes stick with you into your waking hours.
Why is it that when you wake from a good dream it only takes a nanosecond to realise you're not actually a millionaire yet waking from a bad dream takes you a good few minutes to calm yourself and be convinced the terror you felt was not real?
I had a bad dream the other night. Not a nightmare like the scary kind I mentioned above, but an intensely hurtful and emotional dream. A really personal dream. One that I awoke from feeling physically ill. Despite knowing that it wasn't real, that it hadn't actually happened it took me probably half an hour to calm myself and get back to sleep, only just managing not to burst into tears.
Even into the next day, the weight in my chest was there, following me around for most of the day. Making me feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. How is it that dreams can have this power over us, even in the light of day when we can clearly define what is real and true? Why do these horrible things stick in your mind, no matter how hard you try to forget them?
And why do our brains do such nasty things to us? Present us with these fallacies, forcing us to endure the most hurtful words and scenario of our entire lives only to jolt us awake, alone in the dark of night to go - Ha Ha tricked ya!
It seems like some sort of cruel joke.
How do you chase away the black cloud of a bad dream? Or do you only have good ones?