14 April, 2015

I'm Completing A Marathon

I'm completing a marathon. Ok I'm not. I doubt I ever would. It's not that I doubt my ability, it's just not something I want for myself. However, it is something I need to remind myself of from time to time. This is not a sprint. I can't just go like the clappers and then think I'm done. It doesn't work like that. I have to pace myself, make it sustainable. Ever since I made the commitment to make this year MY year, my year to care for myself in all the right ways, I also made a commitment to myself that part of that would be to embrace health and wellbeing through fitness. I joined the gym. I've been working with a personal trainer.
Although I know I've lost weight and changed shape since I started out, I'm not where I was hoping to be by now. I'm starting to feel discouraged because I'm working hard, but I don't feel my results reflect that. This is the longest I have exercised consistently. Yet I've not made the progress I was aiming for. I know this is an important moment. This is the point. It would be easy to give up and say that despite my best efforts nothing was changing so why bother? But I know that this is the point where it's most important that I stick at it. I know about the plateau. I know it happens. This is it. But I can't give up. I can let myself lose focus or stop caring. There are plenty of things in my life that got hard and I could have given up on. Goals, relationships, people. But I valued and cared about them enough not to give up. I need to show myself that same care and value.
That's not to say I don't need to change things. If something isn't working, it needs to be re-assessed. A new game plan formulated. Something I pride myself on is my adaptability. So here it is. Use a strength to improve a weakness. A new approach, new motivation. So what if others are lapping me? I'm not running this race for them. I'm running this race for ME. My health, fitness and weight have always been a bit of a struggle for me. I've certainly come a long way, and it's important not to lose sight of that either, but I still have a ways to go. But that's ok, I've just got to keep at it. I just need to be kind to myself at this juncture. Break my main goal down into smaller goals. Tick them off as I go. Use that to motivate me and feel a sense of achievement.
Sorry if this has been a bit of a brain dump, but I think I just needed to remind myself.
I hope it's a timely reminder for you too, whatever it is you're working towards. We CAN do it!

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